Glimpsing the Unconscious

I think that you learn the most about yourself when you don't have much to think about and your brain just wanders. In these moments when you find it wandering to things you've never found yourself thinking about before, those are important moments.

I think you learn a lot about yourself in the split second it takes to retweet or like something. you find you really do believe in something before you have the chance to talk yourself out of it. It's in the little inconsequential moments of decision that we can find out a lot about ourselves if we are paying attention.

There used to be things I sincerely cared about and thought about all the time. Today I realized I haven't thought about those things in quite awhile. I mourned, for a few seconds, that old Brigitte and then moved on because I like this new Brigitte oh so much better.

This new Brigitte isn't ambivalent about the rights of people. She actually cares if everyone has the same right sand will probably say something about it. This new Brigitte cares an awful lot about women's rights, LGBT rights and Ethnic rights. She cares even more about the people being treated well and respectfully regardless of their gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation. she cares about morals a whole lot more. She cares about equal opportunities.

This new Brigitte cares less what people think. She's not afraid to speak or tweet her mind, even if someone may disagree with her. This new Brigitte is more assertive.

This new Brigitte has moved on from boys who are noncommittal. She will not wait around for anyone. She is no longer pursuing any relationships with anyone she does not unequivocally enjoy being with. she's not afraid to spend time by herself because being alone isn't scary or lonely, it's empowering.

So while I mourn the loss of a Brigitte from years past, I'm not sorry to see her go. I feel as though I've matured and grown into a person I'm proud to be. Shy isn't really my personal anymore. Selective is.

We catch glimpses of who we really are in our most unguarded moments when we think not even the conscious part of our brain is paying attention to the unconscious part. But those moments we glimpse can be revealing if we pursue them.